Maybe im finally in a place where the layers of superficiality have been peeled away.


Last night of 09 was a good teary one. i was sober, more sober than ever. Heartfelt confessions - lovers&friends. couldn't exactly describe the feeling. at least i hope its real. maybe i really need people around me. still adjusting to the change tho. feels weird shifting out of my comfort zone but lovin` the new me. im talking now. saying things and i meant it. things i don't even say under the influence of alcohol. idk since when i've become so vulnerable in handling my own emotions. i guess its all your fault. you make me realized how weak i can be. i never like the idea of having someone to know me. it scares me. no good. i kinda hate you for that. i ran away. i thought i could just deal with it and go but it came back to haunt me. truth is, its not that you're not good enough, really. maybe we can't be best friends.

Fireworks was fantastic. totally blown off by the sparkles. so near yet so far. we were at a different bridge and was able to see where we were, 3 yrs back. different positions different scenarios different emotions. what lost is gone. yes, you went back and pick it up but things have really changed. lost memories. im not oblivious to the new you but maybe its all too late. you promised the future but i can't deny the past.

New gfs! probably one of the best things that happened for the year. someone told me last night that people come and go. no doubt, i know that since a long way back but its different this time. im no longer nonchalant. i feel people slipping away and i don't feel good about it. there's nothing i can do. not in a position to do so.
communication communication. im always lacking in that department.
we're going to communicate more right? (:*



gon embrace the fact that i need to grow up.
harsh reality
each yr, i would tell myself to be more appreciative but it never work without fail.
actions make the promises seems redundant.
away with the vendetta.
here comes the favourite hero.
where's mine?




small small heart.


2010 will be good.
Looking forward to removing my braces!!!
Looking forward to Fang's wedding.
Looking forward to the days without getting wasted.
Looking forward to the days with people around me and knowing i need them.
Looking forward to the new me.








加油加油

they stood still in front of me but i just wouldn't budge.
think im really doing fine this time.
finally a day at home.

first time ever.
what can i say?

school, work and god-knows-what
busy busy people
im not whining
im not exactly very okay with this.
what to do?

engrossed in kikiberry


okay, the previous plan didn't work at all.
but but but now, it has been a grand total of 10days.
satan called but i resisted. awesome much?
the times i wondered.
when you decided to have some harmless fun but held back
cause you know your actions might hurt someone?

sadly, the ego doesn't allow such nonsense.
it just hit me sometimes.
annoyed ttm, no joke.
unhealthy unhealthy


*stabs myself


Black Lady Dior Long Wallet in Cannage Lambskin


oh nooooo 
*pouts

side note, why no Jill Stuart?!


dec coming. which means xmas coming.
im still dreading it...

we didn't keep our cool
something just blow it.
it just happened.
now i don't see it coming anymore
maybe things will be different then
no more tension
the first one ever.


my bad this time
it sucks cause i didn't have a chance to say what i wanted to....